The Unflappable Hendersons

"Did you hear the new neighbours arguing again last night?" Beatrice asked, stirring her tea with a delicate clink, barely looking up from her perfectly symmetrical toast.

Arthur, mid-chew on a piece of bacon, slowly lowered his fork. "Oh, yes. Quite spirited. Though I believe the 'argument' escalated somewhat around 3 AM."

Beatrice hummed, a noncommittal sound. "Did it? I thought I heard a rather distinct thud. Thought it was just Mrs. Henderson's cat again. That cat does get around."

"No," Arthur corrected, a contemplative frown creasing his brow. "This was more of a 'grand piano falling down several flights of stairs and then perhaps colliding with a small, yet sturdy, oak chest' sort of thud. Followed by a rather pointed silence, I noted."

"Hmm. Perhaps they just moved a very large, very heavy piece of furniture. Very late at night. Some people are just like that," Beatrice said, taking a sip of tea. Her gaze drifted lazily to the window, where the sun was just beginning to burn off the morning dew.

"Indeed," Arthur agreed, picking up another strip of bacon. "Though I did notice a rather peculiar sheen on their front door this morning. And the distinct absence of Mr. Henderson's prized garden gnome collection."

Beatrice tilted her head slightly. "That's a shame. He was quite proud of those. Perhaps they're redecorating the garden. Or starting a very competitive game of garden gnome hide-and-seek. For charity, maybe."

"Could be," Arthur conceded, though his eyes held a glint of something more. "Though I also observed a small puddle of what appeared to be artisanal, small-batch marinara sauce just outside their porch. Next to a rather mangled shoe, I believe it was a loafer."

Beatrice took another slow sip of tea, cleared her throat, and set her cup down precisely on its saucer. "Well, I do hope they wiped their feet. The HOA is very particular about keeping the common areas tidy, especially with the spring inspection coming up." She paused, then added, "And I do hope they remembered to recycle. That's good for the environment, you know."

Arthur nodded gravely. "Absolutely. Wouldn't want to add to the landfill unnecessarily. Pass the butter, would you, dear? This toast is getting rather dry."