The Canine Conundrum

Sarah had swiped right on Mark because his profile proudly declared him an "avid dog lover." She envisioned cozy weekends, muddy paws, and shared adoration for a furry friend. Their first date was at "The Posh Plate," a restaurant so exclusive, even the waiters whispered. Mark arrived, impeccably dressed and charming. As he slid into his seat, a distinct, low growl vibrated from beneath his chair. Sarah's eyes darted down, her heart sinking. "Mark," she hissed, "did you bring your dog? They absolutely don't allow pets here!" Mark chuckled, a melodious sound. "Oh, no, no, Sarah. That's just my emotional support *bagpipes*." He gestured to a small, tartan-covered case peeking out. "Got a big competition tomorrow. They get a bit antsy if I don't give them a little pre-performance pep talk." Sarah blinked, a slow, bewildered process. "Bagpipes?" Mark beamed. "Indeed! My profile said 'avid dog lover,' short for 'avid *dogma* lover' – the ancient Scottish philosophy. And, well, I *do* love my emotional support bagpipes. Their names are Hamish and Mac." The waiter, ever so discreetly, materialized beside them. "Sir, I believe your… instruments… are vibrating the cutlery." Sarah, torn between a sudden fit of giggles and an urgent need to re-read her dating app settings for a 'Scottish Eccentric' filter, decided two things: one, she was definitely ordering the most expensive item on the menu; and two, she might just have found the most uniquely entertaining (and oddly endearing) first date of her life.