Strategic Initiatives & Sardonic Sighs

Brenda beamed, gesturing wildly at a whiteboard that displayed a single, squiggly arrow pointing upwards. "Team, I've had a breakthrough! What if... and bear with me here... what if we tried to... increase our profits?"

A hush fell over the room, broken only by Arthur's almost imperceptible sigh, a sound so rich with weary disillusionment it could have been bottled and sold as artisanal despair.

"Brenda," Arthur began, his voice a smooth, uninflected monotone, "that's... undeniably bold. Truly, 'increase profits.' One might even say 'groundbreaking' in its sheer, unadulterated clarity. How did you arrive at such a radical concept?"

Brenda puffed out her chest. "Well, I was looking at our quarterly report, and I noticed... the money going out was bigger than the money coming in! A startling discovery, I know, but sometimes you just have to ask the big questions."

"Indeed," Arthur drawled, adjusting his glasses. "And the methodology for this 'profit augmentation'? Are we exploring, say, selling more widgets, or perhaps... charging for the air our customers breathe? Both seem equally innovative given our current strategic trajectory."

Brenda scribbled "Sell More!" and "Charge for Air?" on the whiteboard, beaming at Arthur. "Arthur, you're a genius! Why didn't anyone think of charging for air before? It's literally everywhere!"

"Precisely," Arthur replied, a muscle twitching in his jaw. "It just goes to show, sometimes the most profound insights are hidden in plain sight, waiting for a visionary like yourself to, shall we say, 'uncover the obvious.' I eagerly await the 'strategic air monetization task force' meeting. Perhaps we can also explore 'gravity utilization' for increased market share?"

Brenda clapped her hands. "Gravity! Oh, Arthur, you're on fire! Someone get Arthur a whiteboard marker!" Arthur just stared ahead, his soul slowly evaporating, one sardonic sigh at a time.